A Little Writer's Humor

Believe it or not, I recently was inspired by ... wait for it ... Jeff Foxworthy. That's right, the quintessential redneck himself.

A colleague from work is very fond of quoting from Foxworthy's "You might be a redneck," and others in the office seem to enjoy engaging in a call-and-response chorus. Here's an example.

Call: You might be a redneck?
Response: If there's ever been crime-scene tape on your bathroom door.

I'm particularly fond of that one, seeing as how I fancy myself a crime fiction writer.

But I digress. And, now with apologies to the half-dozen or so people I've ripped off for this blog post, here it comes.

You might be a writer if:

* You sleep with pen and paper next to your bed, and the stove, and the couch, and the dining table, and the shower and the toilet.
* You get caught up in plotting your next scene and then wonder why your coffee is cold.
* You do everything you can think of to procrastinate from writing, then turn the light on in the middle of the night and feverishly write a couple hundred words because you feel guilty for not writing.
* The stacks of your old manuscripts and rejection letters officially constitute a fire hazard.
* You think sleep is way overrated. Who needs more than three or four hours anyway?
* Your writing projects are backed up on your laptop, your spouse's laptop, two thumb drives, and you're seriously toying with the idea of storing everything in the Cloud.
* You look at yourself and see a writer, while everyone else sees an obsessive-compulsive, anal-retentive insomniac with a pen fetish.

Now, see how many you can come up with.

~Dave Autry